


Chairman and the Church

by may10baby



Category: Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Chairman's POV in adorable kitten speak, Fluff, M/M, Other, adorable kitten fluff, also implied heavy Malec sexing, cat adventures, read this on a rainy day
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-02-16
Updated: 2014-02-16
Packaged: 2018-01-12 17:16:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,457
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1193262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/may10baby/pseuds/may10baby
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ever since his warlock got a human to play with, Chairman Meow's been lonely. Until one day Magnus and Alec bring over a new friend in the Box of Doom, and adorable adventures begin.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Chairman and the Church

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written for a reader, I'm posting this up for everyone to enjoy! Comments are loved!

The Chairman didn't like it when his warlock and human went into the bedroom. 

 

Then again, he didn't like it when they decided to mate out in the living room either. Or the kitchen. Or the bathroom. Though, ever since the bathtub incident of exactly six months, three days and four hours ago, he avoided that room completely.

 

Back to the bedroom. 

 

Sometime his warlock and, more recently acquired, human would go to the bedroom and sleep, which in that case, the Chairman would slink in and lie down on his human's pillow and nap with them. Most nights however, the mattress would creak and the Chairman would have to sit outside the bedroom in the living room, alone, a lot of times without dinner. His warlock had problems with remembering to feed him, and usually his human was good enough to leave some food out, but it was hard when his warlock was busy putting his mouth places on his human that would make him a technical cannibal.

 

Eventually the noise would die down, and then he'd still be locked out of the bedroom, leaving claw marks on his warlock's furniture, just because the Chairman honestly thought he deserved his own personal scratching post for his troubles. His warlock changed the furniture enough times, so it hardly mattered either way. Few things the Chairman did these days did. 

 

When his warlock and human came that night, the Chairman spotted the occasional looks the two would share, and he curled into a ball on the sofa, already plotting how he was going to carve up the wooden peg legs the couch sat on. 

 

His ears twitched when he heard the sound of hard plastic hitting the floor. The cat paused for a moment, before he lifted his head over the arm of the sofa, hissing when he saw the Box of Doom. It was prison incarnate, with it's sturdy plastic and barred door. His warlock found the time to occasionally lock the Chairman away in the cruel Box, bringing him to a place where positively demonic humans pricked you with needles and shoved things where things were definitely _not_ supposed to go. 

 

His human was saying something, his tone somewhat annoyed. The Chairman watched with slitted eyes as he knelt down to open the Box of Doom. If either of them thought he was going in there without a fight, they were in for a night of scratches up and down their arms. His warlock said something lightly as the door swung open, and the Chairman sat up completely when a cat stepped from the Box of Doom, shifting out onto the floor of the loft. 

 

The cat was regal. That was the only way the Chairman knew how to describe him, and even that didn't seem like a nice enough word. His coat was a blueish grey, his eyes a pretty gold that reminded him of his warlock, only better. And he was bigger than the Chairman, though it might have been all of his fur. The cat looked over the loft, before his gaze rested on him. Like a scared kitten, the Chairman ducked his head, burrowing against the arm of the couch in embarrassment. 

 

Why had his warlock and human brought another cat home in the Box of Doom? The Chairman went rigid. Was the new cat supposed to replace him? Did they not want him anymore? A small yowl escaped his mouth at the thought. He wasn't anything like this new cat. His white coat was shabby compared to that pretty blue-grey. He was tiny, even with all of his fur puffed out in anger. 

 

His human said something, followed by his warlock, but the Chairman didn't care. He buried his face into the nook of the sofa, content to die there. 

 

He sneezed on a cloud of glitter. 

 

A light weight jumped onto the couch, and the Chairman looked over to see the new cat sitting on the cushion next to him, studying him with those serious golden eyes. The Chairman tensed scrambling into a crouch, ready to spring away at a moment's notice. If anything, this only amused the other cat, who bared his teeth in amusement. 

 

“So, you're the owner of all the white fur Alec comes home covered in.” The Chairman paused, tilting his head to the side. The cat had a weird way of talking, both in his voice, and in the way his chose his words. 

 

“I have white fur.” He agreed, turning to face the cat, settling into a sitting position. He was tense though, his tail flicking nervously against the sofa. “And Alec is my human.” He said, not without a touch of pride. The other cat frowned at this, his eyes narrowing.

 

“I've known Alec since he was a kitling. He was my human first.” The Chairman stood up, his fur bristling. 

 

“He's _my_ human!” He hissed back. Sure, it was annoying when his warlock and human got into one of their bedroom moods, but his human was a good human. The best kind of human. 

 

The kind that remembered to feed him.

 

The cat merely looked at him. “And how, exactly, is he _your_ human?” The cat strode forward, and the Chairman shuffled away. “Did you catch the diseased mice that tried to sneak into his bed at night? Did you warn him about the intruders that came knocking at the door of the Institute? Did you help him find his lost dagger, the one his father gave him before leaving for Alicante?” Each question made the Chairman shrink, until he was nothing more then a ball of fur against the back of the sofa. 

 

“I didn't eat his friend when he turned into a rat.” The Chairman said meekly, looking up at the other cat. He was greeted by a curious look. It wasn't a rare thing for a cat to be curious, but it was surprisingly cute on this particular cat. 

 

“How old are you?” The cat asked, sitting back on his haunches. 

 

“Two.” The Chairman said, straightening up. “I just had my birthday party.” He added, wondering if this new cat got birthday parties. This answer seemed to satisfy the other cat, and he turned away, apparently content. 

 

“That explains a lot.” The cat sent him a sideways glance. “You're nothing but a kitten. I bet you drink the entire bowl of cream without a thought as to how it'll make you sick later.” 

 

“Cream doesn't make you sick!” The thought alone horrified the Chairman. The other cat looked amused.

 

“It does if you have too much.” He said, and the Chairman struggled to process this thought, his gaze dropping to the purple leather of the couch. He didn't realize that the cat had moved closer until he caught sight of that blue-grey fur at the edge of his vision. He looked up, and stared into big golden eyes. “What's your name?” 

 

“W-What's yours?” The Chairman retorted, shifting back, nearly crushing his tail against the arm of the couch. 

 

“Church.” The cat answered without missing a beat. “And you?” The Chairman paused, processing the name. He looked like a Church.

 

“It's Chairman. Chairman Meow.” He said, and Church did the equivalent of a cat grin, purring deeply in his throat. The sound caused the Chairman's spine to tingle, and he purred back, his tail flicking back against the couch. He jumped when the sofa creaked, looking up to see his human staring down at them with bright blue eyes. He said something, and his warlock appeared over the back of the couch, grinning widely. Not a moment later they were heading towards the bedroom, and the Chairman had a feeling his food bowl was going to be empty for the rest of the night. “But I'm hungry!” He yowled at the closed door, looking over his shoulder when Church spoke up.

 

“Then eat.” The Chairman glowered at him.

 

“I can't.” He said back, annoyed. Church's ear twitched.

 

“Why not?”

 

“Because they'll be in there all night. And my warlock leaves the food in a bag on the kitchen counter. I can't reach it on my own, I'm too small.” He thought of that long rise to the counter. Even with his nails digging into the wood of the counter, he couldn't climb high enough to reach the bag of food. He'd certainly tried before. Church was looking at him thoughtfully, his tail waving lazily behind him.

 

“Show me.” Was all the other cat said, before jumping off the couch, padding lightly across the floor. After a moment the Chairman jumped down, springing ahead a few steps, leading the other cat into the kitchen. He sat down, looking up at the tall wall that held his food captive. He looked over to see Church giving the counter a long look. 

 

Suddenly, the cat crouched, before lunging upwards, jumping high enough to clear the counter in one jump. The Chairman watched in awe, staring at the brief flick of Church's tail before it disappeared over the edge of the countertop.

 

“Watch out.” Was Church's only warning, as the bag of food suddenly tipped over the edge of the counter. The Chairman dove out of the way as the bag of food hit the floor, splitting open and scattering all over the floor. The Chairman gasped in delight, jumping forward to bury his face into the pile of food. He was too busy to notice Church jump back onto the floor, the cat sitting down and watching the Chairman eat. “You're going to get sick if you keep that up.”

 

“Mphn nahh hmpt grrag.” The Chairman replied artfully, still eating. Church was staring at him with a carefully blank expression, his tail flicking lightly in the air.

 

Exactly eleven minutes later the Chairman fell back on the kitchen floor, his stomach feeling horrifically bloated. The cat mewed pitifully, lying out on his side in the pile of scattered cat food. He felt a wetness against his ear, and peeled open an eye to see Church licked at his ears comfortingly.

 

“I told you so.” Church stated in between licks. The Chairman whined, closing his eyes and letting the other cat groom him. By the time the Chairman felt well enough to move, Church had groomed his entire head, along with his shoulders, all the way down to his paws. The Chairman twisted onto his feet unsteadily, shaking out his fur. 

 

“Thank you.” He said, looking to the other cat. Church didn't say anything, but the Chairman could tell by the way his tail was wagging that he was happy. “How'd you do that?” He asked, pointing his chin towards the high countertop. 

 

“You learn a lot of things catching mice.” Church replied, his ears twitching. “Come on, Alec and Magnus are done in the bedroom. We can sneak in now.” The Chairman followed the other cat out into the living room, eyeing the closed bedroom door. 

 

“I don't want to go in there.” Chairman said, earning a surprised look from Church. “It always smells weird after their moods, and they're gross and sweaty. The couch is better.” He gave the piece of furniture a long look. “It's just so big and lonely.” He said quietly, jumping when he felt Church brush against him. The older cat hopped up onto the couch, before turning to stare at the Chairman. 

 

“Are you coming? Or am I going to sleep here all by myself?” The Chairman paused, before jumping up as well. Church was curled up in the corner of the couch, his tail curled against his body. The Chairman hesitated for only a moment, before he trotted over and wedged himself against Church's side. If the other cat minded, he didn't say anything, and the Chairman was purring in content at the warmth of the other cat's body and the softness of his fur. 

 

“I don't mind bedroom moods if you're here.” The Chairman said, resting his chin on Church's paw. Church didn't say anything back, but the Chairman could hear the rumbling purr in the other cat's throat, as well as feel the thumping of Church's tail against his spine. “I really don't mind at all.” He yawned, before closing his eyes and falling asleep. 

 

~o~

 

“I'm serious, Magnus! Give it back!” Alec yelled, his face red as the warlock typed away on the Shadowhunter's cell phone. 

 

“Dear Jace,” Magnus wrote away. The only thing saving him from Alec's wrath was the ring of blue fire protecting him from his irate boyfriend. “I'm sorry I won't be able to go out on patrol tonight either, Magnus screwed me too hard last night and-” The warlock ducked under the Nephilim when Alec dove over the line of fire, snapping his fingers and running off when the ring disappeared. He burst out of his bedroom and into the loft, laughing the entire time, Alec on his heels.

 

“ _Magnus!_ ” Said warlock circled around the couch, skidding to a stop when he looked down at the cushions. Alec crashed into him moments later, and the pair would have ended up sprawled out on the floor if Magnus had been just a few inches shorter. Alec snatched his phone from the warlock's hand, double-checking to make sure his boyfriend hadn't actually sent the text. “I can't believe you would joke about that, do have any idea how long I'd have to put up with-”

 

“Alec, look.” Magnus said, a grin plastered on his face. The Shadowhunter looked at Magnus, before following his gaze to the couch. Alec wasn't exactly a cat fanatic, but he had to admit, the sight before his was cute. 

 

Church and Chairman Meow were nestled against each other, both of them sound asleep in the corner of the sofa, resting against each other easily. It was too precious for words. 

 

“Aw...” He managed, and Magnus chuckled. 

 

“See? I told you bringing him here was a good idea.” The warlock said, wrapping his arms around Alec's hips and tugging his boyfriend closer. Alec sent the warlock a half-hearted glare.

 

“I still feel like taking him out of the Institute was a bad idea. He's kinda like our guard cat.” He flushed when Magnus kissed his temple. “And I'm still mad at you about the texting.”

 

“Oh, Alexander, whatever shall I do with you?” Magnus asked to no one in particular. “Tell you what, we'll plan ahead next time. I'll bring the Chairman over for dinner at the Institute. We'll dress them up and make spaghetti. It'll be _Lady and the Tramp_ , only Chairman and the Church.”

 

“ _Lady and the Tramp_?” Alec echoed, confused. Magnus looked personally insulted. 

 

“We'll make it a _Disney_ movie night as well.” 

 


End file.
